the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
