I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
