she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
