it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
