on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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