What did we do last night that was yellow?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
