She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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