For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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