somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
MIDGETS
????
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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