hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
