I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
