Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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