But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
