I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
