look no pants
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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