I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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