Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
