So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
