You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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