new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
