There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
