There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
