Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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