Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
