I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
only you would photoshop your dick
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
