when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
