You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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