ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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