You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
