Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
