Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
