think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
