i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
