UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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