covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
