i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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