Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
