1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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