Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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