i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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