whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
