Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
