I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
