Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
