We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
