we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
my poor anus
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
