totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
