On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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