Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
