You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize