i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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