Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
