He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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