Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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