would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
