It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
