Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have feelings that need drinking.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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