I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
this just has baby written all over it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm both gender and math confused
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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